Self retrospective: Years without Social Media
There are so many things we can do with our smartphones, and it is almost a shame if we don't fill every minute of every hour with things to do. Every second, there is always a picture uploaded somewhere, a comment and a like posted, statuses are updated, a video going viral, and a meme is being passed around. And who would want to miss all the excitement?
From morning to night, we are constantly connected to life elsewhere in a world that exists in a shiny object in our hands, and we say to ourselves, "How full my life is, how busy I am, and how much I have to do!" but what are we doing and paying attention to?
Indeed paying attention to any particular thing gets more difficult as there are more and more things in my life that demand my attention, especially in social media. Unfortunately, I was so preoccupied with those worthless things that I ended up struggling to focus on my activities, goals, and anything more than the objects on my smartphone.
Im not naturally smart, It always takes time for me to process everything in my head, make a decision, take action, and deep dive to the point of one content and material. So why do I let the "toy" in my hands consume my time and distract my attention constantly? Allowing the toys to play around with me makes me feel behind and end up getting more attention to something not valuable. Like a drug addict, I check my social media compulsively, with neither reason nor urgency.
I began with a silent commitment in early 2019 by not Login to any social media for a month and getting back after to see what I had missed. I remember that I felt lost, not only about what to do but how to cope with it. However, I kept doing it the next month and started to accept that I was afraid of missing out, being unknown, and being out of touch, but at the same time, I was okay. I thought I would lose the golden opportunity or a piece of urgent information, but you know, if it is for you, it will find its way to see you. So I kept doing the same thing with different time windows, from 3 months to 4 months, and I finally encouraged myself to delete my social media account in 2020.
Deleting my social media account is not a sudden action however, I observe what happens from a small time window to the day I felt I don’t need it anymore.
It's not easy, but "if we never try, how will we know, Baby, how far this thing could go? 🎵🎹". The feeling of having nothing to occupy with and the feeling of being bored are scary. I'm also worried that everyone else is doing something cool without me. The only reason, perhaps, is that I don't spend enough time getting to know myself. Indeed, Im curious about other people than discovering who I am. I often treat myself far worse, and I don't have the same patience, concern, or interest in myself as in those around us. If anything, I tend to be much more critical of my failures and much less forgiving of my mistakes than others.
In this world, there will always be those who are more successful than us, seem luckier than us, and whose lives we envy. However, focusing on our lack and inadequacy brings us no benefit other than to make us feel even poorer and more miserable. In contrast, it does not affecting the lives of others except perhaps making us tedious company.
The day goes on, and it's almost three years since I started my commitment. It felt like taking a good break and recharging myself in the best way with being unknown. I am not obsessed with impressing anyone, I am not obsessed with knowing everything, and I can be peaceful at the same time. Being okay with not knowing allows me to be creative, open, and willing to live in a state of wonder and possibility.
I'm happy to allow myself to be bored now and then. To have oneself idle time free from the never-ending external stimulation and endless information we bombard ourselves with, to use those in-between times not to check my phones and get stressed about those terrible things happening in the world as per our Instagram and Twitter newsfeed or the fun things we are missing out on.
Hence, rather than wasting time browsing anything on our social media, how about we take a break and give time to ourselves to idle, or if you are afraid of doing nothing at the moment, try to browse into the depths and mysteries of our neglected selves? Seek out what makes us who we are.
